I MUSTACHE 4 Miles Prediction Run
500 Downs Loop
What in the tarnation?
How many chances do you get to celebrate a mammalian characteristic [i.e. ability to grow hair] and support the movement to move simultaneously? My point, exactly. So, grow a stache, and join our bash!
What do mustaches have to do with running? Stachey is classy, so why not?
[But, for reals, the goal is to bring the community of Clemson together and encourage activity through aging. No matter how old you are, you are never too old to have some fun! Any proceeds will go to support the Clemson Downs Wellness Department’s efforts to spread the message of health and wellness to our residents and beyond! You ain’t got wealth if you ain’t got your health!]
Race Day Schedule
Friday, October 11th
1-6:00pm Packet Pick-Up
6:15pm All Runners Migrate to Start for final briefing (no, that does not mean that we will be dressing you in brief underpants, sorry)
6:30pm I’d love to stay and chat, but you MUSTACHE 4 miles! [A.k.a. 4-milers begin their journey]
6:35pm Cookie Dusters begin their 2-mile jaunt
7:30pm Give Out Some Stachey Awards
8:00pm Course Closes
This facial hair affair will originate in front of the Ernie Corley Activity Center.
Top Male (closest to predicted time)
Top Female (closest to predicted time)
Most Creatively Displayed Mustache
...And whatever else I feel like giving a prize for on race day!
All Fun Run participants receive mustache memorabilia
$25 for 4 miler
$30 after 9/27
$35 Race Day (no swag)
$10 for 2 mile fun run
$15 after 9/27
$20 Race Day (no swag)
Stuff People Will Ask Me Later and I Will Lie to Them Because They Did Not Read This Section
I need to “drop the kids off at the pool” and/or “squeeze the lemon” (a.k.a. use the potty)…Will you have restroom facilities, and where would those be located?
As a runner, I understand your needs. Please help yourself to our upstairs and downstairs flush and handicap-accessible long-drops located in the Ernie Corley Center, which will be clearly labeled. All we ask is that you please be courteous to those who may require a ‘pit-stop’ after you.
Can I jam to my tunes?
Rock on, my running friends, rock on! However, if you cannot hear the car coming at you from behind or a by-stander warning you that you are a split second from ramming your body into the tree ahead, that’s not our fault. And this is why we require you to sign a waiver. Please use common sense.
Will the course be labeled?
Just follow the yellow-brick road! Actually, chances are, it will just be duct tape arrows and then I will bribe some seemingly intelligent kid to lead the pack on his/her bike.
Can I walk?
Walk tall, my friend! However, please be aware that we MUST close the course at 8:00pm. If you are not confident you can walk the 4 mile course in less than 90 minutes, please consider entering the Cookie Duster 2-Mile Fun Run. Unfortunately, rules are rules.
What is a prediction run and can I wear a watch?
A prediction run is where each runner predicts his/her time prior to running and then runs the course WATCHLESS. Whoever runs closest to their predicted time will be deemed the winner! So, NO. You CANNOT wear a watch. If you are spotted with any sort of timing device you will be disqualified and fed to a pack of hungry weenie dogs.
Can I wear my GPS watch for my heart rate?
What part of NO TIMING device do you not understand? That’s like asking if you can bring Cheetos to a funeral—completely inappropriate. The answer is no.
My husband/wife/significant other will get paranoid if I do not answer my phone, can I run with it?
Phones have clocks/timers which I have already clearly stated are indefinitely prohibited. Besides, your husband/wife/significant other should be here supporting you or participating. Seek couples counseling later—you MUSTACHE now!
Can I run with a stroller?
I don’t know, can you?
I run to eat. What you got?
Stuff that you’ll want to shave for later.
Can I bring my pet?
If they are KEPT ON A LEASH, play well with others, like grandmas and grandpas, and you do not have an issue with being responsible for the disposal of their fecal matter, then I suppose we can accommodate all critters near and far!
Where do I park?
We will have some awesome volunteers direct your vehicle in the designated parking areas. Please do not run them over. We also ask that you do NOT park in apartment resident spots that are CLEARLY labeled with their apartment numbers. Just a heads up now, they have walking aids and they are not afraid to use them.
What happens if it rains?
You and your stache will get wet and soggy. If there is lightening, we will postpone the start for 20 minutes. If lightening is spotted again, we will have to cancel and I will be found crying in a corner after all this stressing out trying to organize this stubbly stumble only to have it cancelled for some atmospheric phenomenon.
I go through glycogen like the Trix Rabbit goes through Trix! Will there be stuff available on-the-go?
We will have some electrolyte beverage and good ol' water, but no "food" (i.e. GUs, Powerbars, orange slices, Sport Beans, etc. etc.) will be provide on the race course...I mean, come on, it's 4 miles. You're body has the capacity to store 2000 calories of glycogen--if you go through your entire carbohydrate reserve during this race, you may want to consult a physician. We will do our best to provide you with muchies prior to and post-race to please your satiety center.
I think I ruptured a thing-a-ma-jigger and cannot participate. Can I get a refund?
Ah, man! Wish we could. Bummer. Perhaps, you can wrap it in bubble wrap, pop a few ibuprofen, and give it a hearty attempt?
I am allergic to bubble wrap and ibuprofen make me have socially inappropriate outbursts…Can I give my entry to a friend?
Ok, giving the gift of running is like giving the gift of life. I guess I can’t have a problem with that, right? I mean, running saves lives!
I am a needy, Type-AAA, hypochondriac who cannot sleep at night because I am being plagued with more questions that were not answered here, what am I to do?
Enroll in therapy, consider hot yoga, and contact:
Clemson Downs Wellness Coordinator
500 Downs Loop
Clemson, SC 29631
864.654.1155 ext. 237 or 232
Ernie Corley Activity Center on the Clemson Downs campus.
500 Downs Loop
Clemson, SC 29631
Follow Downs Blvd PASSED Downs Loop (should see signs). The parking lot to the Ernie Corley Activity Center will be the next right. The Corley Center is the one with all the rocking chairs out in front. Take the elevator downstairs.
On race day, packets may be picked up on the porch of the Corley Center. (Signs will be posted)
Wednesday, October 9th @ 2-7pm
Thursday, October 10th @ 2-7pm
Friday, October 11th @ 1-5:30pm
Why: If you know me, or have been reading through this race description at all, you have to know I’ll come up with something interesting! We got stuff so cool that grandma will be jealous!
Copy and Paste this link into an email and invite your friends:
Need online registration for your event? Call us at 888-759-3666.